That mirage called fear
Fear isn’t real.
I can see your face.
I see how you squeeze it because you don't believe that.
Let me ask you a question: what's your deepest fear?
See, situations that makes you afraid are real. I won't deny that. You shouldn't either.
But the fear in itself is not.
Fear stems from uncertainty. It is just an illusion. Like a mirage. You see it up there on the horizon. It's all big and scary, making your heart skip.
I remember when I was a kid, anytime I’m in a bus going on the expressway I was always scared. There always seems to be a mighty fire ahead, I can always see the smoke. I always wondered why the driver is not seeing it. And I still didn’t know why other passengers, including whomever I was traveling with, cannot see it. Isn’t it obvious that we are headed to a fire?!
I would sit up in my chair and silently pray. Thank God I never shouted. People would have thought I was crazy.
The truth is, there was never a fire. It was a mirage.
I later learnt in physics how a mirage occurs.
That's when I eventually live above that fear.
Now, let's go back to you.
What can you say about your fear?
Is it the fear that you may never make enough money?
The fear that you may never get that job?
The fear that you will lose that important person?
What's your fear?
Whatever the fear that is overwhelming you, let me quickly tell you again, it's not real.
I know you may want to argue with that. But the fear that seems so real to you is actually because you're uncertain. Uncertainty is the cause of fear. Fear is an illusion; a mirage. It's always high up there until you get there to find it never was.
Does that mean your fears are not substantial?
Of course, not.
It's not entirely bad to worry. To overanalyze situations. To not know what next.
No. It's not bad.
What's bad is letting that worry turn to fear and letting that fear overwhelm you.
So, how do you overcome fear?
To be able to overcome fear, you need to understand that fear in itself is not real. I've said that repeatedly, and it is important. With this realization, it will be easier for you take the next steps to completely overcome fears.
Let me ask you again, how did you know you were going to wake up this morning?
Simple answer: you didn't.
But does that stop you from making plans about the next day, setting your alarm?
Have you ever been so sick that you know tomorrow is not possible?
Have you ever been so sick that you doubt if you'll live?
What I'm trying to illustrate is simple; humans have a habit of judging our future by our present.
You're sick today and you begin to get scared of what tomorrow may be. When you're healthy you don't worry about whether you will wake up tomorrow or not, you just know you will. At least you slept yesterday and woke up today.
That’s how it is with other areas of our lives too.
You’re scared because you’ve never been into your future. If only you could see how bright it is.
Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift of God, which is why we call it the present.
~ Bill Keane
For you to overcome fear, you need to know that there’s nothing you can do about the past, and the future is not yours to command.
Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.
~ Mother Theresa
More importantly, you need to realize that the steps and little efforts you make today are part of what becomes of your future. So, rather than worry about what the future could be, why not make it your ambition to do all you have to do today?
Success is the sum of small efforts, repeated day-in and day-out.
~ Robert Collier
Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.
~ John Wooden
Don't spend your time in what could be, invest in the now and work hard at it.
Your future is not yours to worry about.
Live a life devoid of fear by being adventurous. Take risks, and have fun while at it.
Don't let anyone tell you how to live. We may all be humans, our paths are different. Find what brings you joy and help you relax and do it, no matter how crazy.
Don't judge anyone. If you do, you should expect to be judged too.
Finally, be optimistic.
I know it's hard. Life's truly hard.
But the truth is your worry won't make it less hard.
Your worry won't put money into your account. Your fear won't feed you.
So, why would you let it stop you from doing what you have to?
Decide in your heart today to live above fear.
If you need a one-on-one discussion or any help whatsoever (as far as you don't want to borrow money 😅), feel free to chat me up.